Why Saying No Is Beneficial
Learning to say no is a skill that puts more control of your time back in your hands. We live in a culture that gives too much value to being busy. Running frantically from errands to errands can make us feel like we are losing a constant battle for more time.
Worry not.
Below are 3 practical reasons for establishing boundaries and saying no. This practice of saying no is especially useful for those who often find themselves feeling overwhelmed.
Our Culture Over Values Being Busy
Some people make the fatal mistake of thinking that being very busy somehow equates to being more important. This is a warped mindset.
Having 1,000 competing tasks with little to no breaks in between is taxing. You have to break out of this cycle.
When you find yourself being pulled in a million different directions. Stop. Take a breath and evaluate the tasks set before you.
Is this task vital to your well-being? (Ex: I have a therapist/doctor’s appointment)
Is this task absolutely essential to your job? (Ex: I have to give this patient an insulin shot within the next 3 hours)
We can use anchor questions like these to better prioritize the seemingly never-ending list of tasks before us. If it is not critical for you to do, delegate the task.
Reason 1: Say No In Order To Prevent Yourself From Stretching Too Thin
When you do not say no enough, you will often find yourself overbooked and overwhelmed. The next time you get a request to do something for someone or go to a gathering, consider your own needs.
Take some time and really assess what is being asked of you. If the incoming question or request truly sounds like something you actually want to do, then great.
The best response in that situation is to say yes. If you find yourself second guessing or talking yourself into “why it won’t really be all that bad”, then simply say no and move on.
We are often conditioned to ‘play nice’ and not be ‘too confrontational’. This people pleasing mindset can make it even more difficult to say no to requests for our time.
However, when we learn how to say no to things that do not serve us, we are better off in the end.
It’s okay to say NO to things that do not serve you
-@OnTheGoe
Reason 2: Say No Because You Can’t Be Everywhere At Once
Let’s face it, we cannot be in two places at once. As much as we might want to attend the birthday party and the family potluck, physical constraints means that we have to choose one or the other.
Some people fear saying no because they don’t want to miss out on anything– no matter what it is. This fear is most commonly known as FOMO and it can be detrimental to our overall well-being.
When you say yes to everything from a place of fear you are doing yourself a disservice.
Do not let FOMO rule your social calendar.
Instead, use no as a way to call in what you want.
When you are honest with yourself it is easier to recognize which events matter and which are just a distraction.
Reason 3: Say No In Order To Get Your Time Back
There are certain people who are always eager to unleash their negative views onto others. I bet you can recognize one or two in your life.
These are the people who always have a reason to complain or talk badly about someone. They are the ones whose personality suck energy out of you until there is nothing left.
You do not have to tolerate these behaviors.
Combat these energy vampires with the best tool out there: “No”.
Truly, saying no is one of the best tools to put some distance between negative situations and your peace of mind.
Asserting yourself in this way sends the message regarding what your chosen values are. You are essentially saying that you would rather put your energy towards those things that are beneficial to your mental, physical and emotional well-being.
What To Do If You Find It Very Difficult To Say No
To some people the thought of saying no absolutely terrifies them. If you still want to implement boundaries in your life and are unsure how to, try these ‘no alternatives’ out.
Alternatives To No
- I am not the best person for this task, perhaps you should reach out to X.
- I cannot commit to [annoying task being asked of you], I have another priority at that time/day.
You Have To Life Your Life
If you need some reminders as to why you should implement some boundaries, refer back to this article.
In the end, we have to live our lives as we see best fit. This can mean saying no to some opportunities so that you can say yes to others.
